


Always

by Chizuru_2120



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, Matsumiya - Freeform, P: Ninomiya Kazunari/Matsumoto Jun, suezu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18880195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chizuru_2120/pseuds/Chizuru_2120
Summary: Nino just want to make sure his status but he's afraid to even ask Jun about it.





	Always

Nino glanced at Jun over his shoulder as they were changing into their street clothes after finishing their last job today. Sho, Aiba and Ohno finished changing and already grabbed their bags, ready to go home. As they greeted him and Jun, Nino was slinging his bag on his shoulder. After the door closed behind them, Jun grabbed him into his arms and kissed him hard. Nino managed to let out a small yelp before letting himself completely melt in Jun’s arms. After several moments, they broke apart and Jun dropped a chaste kiss on his forehead.

“I miss you Kazu.”

“Liar, we have been together for all day.”

“You are in front of me yet I can’t touch you. You don’t know how frustrated I am about that.”

“Well, it might be a problem if they caught us kissing before playing the kicking sniper right?”

“I don’t mind if they do.”

“Jun, it will be the end of us then,” Nino stared directly at Jun eyes before Jun slowly loosened their hug. Nino cursed himself for saying something without thinking and hated it at how sad Jun look right now.

“Jun, I’m sorry.”

“No, never mind that, I will be heading back now, see you tomorrow,” Jun forced a smile and kissed Nino on the cheek before leaving the dressing room. Nino sighed and dropped his body on the couch there. He didn’t know of how many time will he hurting Jun before Jun calling their complicated relationship off. Nino knew Jun wasn’t in love with him, they were just in the relationship that will provided them with sex but at least their friendship was real. Nino always being so aware about their label and sometimes his mind spoke for himself, questioning the end of their relationship like before. And every time Nino mentioned about it, Jun will look hurt. Nino wondered what he’s been hurting for, because they’re not in love, at least for Jun side. Jun never said anything about love and maybe Jun worried that their ended relationship will affect Arashi. Maybe that’s the cause.

It’s been almost a year since their complicated relationship began, and Nino never regretted that it ever happened. When it all happened, Nino thought that they will be happily in a relationship but when he didn’t find Jun by his side the day after their ‘first night’, Nino was afraid that it’s just a one night stand for Jun. But then Jun kept coming to him, being all caring and gentle but yet at the same time, after their short time together, Jun will leave. The thing that hurt Nino the most was it seems like Jun being ashamed to be with him. Jun will ignore him in front of others, pretending to be just a friend or band mate, successfully portrayed their role as if in front of the camera. But when they were alone, when they were just the two of them, Jun will treat him like a lover. It confused Nino to no end, and he hated it that he kept clinging to whatever thing he had with Jun as dearly as he could. No matter what he was to Jun, a whore, a mistress, a friend with benefit, be it anything, Nino will accept it without complaining anything, because he’s simply in love with Jun.

The next day, Nino arrived a little bit earlier; unlike his usual self because he wanted to talk to Jun. He knew Jun will be early, and the other members will only arrived five minutes before the actual time. He hated it when they were in argument and he needed to make sure that Jun wasn’t mad anymore. As Nino entered the dressing room, Jun was already there, a book in hand and the other members still hadn’t arrived. Nino smiled and dropped his bag carelessly on the couch before walked to Jun and sneaked his head under Jun’s book. He came to face to face with Jun but Jun just stared wordlessly at him. Nino gave a chaste kiss and pouted when Jun remained unmoving.

“J, don’t be like this please, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what you’re sorry about.”

“I’m sorry about anything that makes you mad at me right now.”

“I’m not mad. So, get off from my lap now, the others will be here.”

“Kiss me first, or else I will stay here for the rest of the day,” Nino pouted even more when Jun still staring at him but Jun will never resisted his pout so a moment later Jun grabbed his neck and kissed him hard. Their tongue tangled in a fierce battle when suddenly they heard several steps outside the dressing room. Nino felt Jun froze and knowing the sign, they immediately broke apart and Nino climbed off Jun’s lap and sat on the opposite couch, trying to regulate his breathing before grabbing his DS. As soon as Nino managed to switch on the game device, Aiba, Sho and Ohno appeared.

“Ohayo~ ah, Nino, you’re early today!” Aiba greeted them happily and Nino shrugged, trying to focus on his game when in reality he was thinking about the heated kiss he had with Jun earlier. Nino glanced at Jun who’s now engaged in a conversation about their upcoming concert with Sho. Ohno landed besides him before lied down with his head on Nino’s lap. Nino startled and tried to protest but Ohno was already almost in the dream land. Nino continued focusing in his game but he can clearly felt Jun’s throbbing stare on them.

After a while later, the designer came and prepared them for the recording. Then, they started the recording and Nino was sticking to Aiba as he still felt Jun’s stare on him. They had the recording all day as they need to record for 3 episodes. The recording went smoothly and they managed to end the recording earlier than the scheduled time. Aiba and Sho immediately changed as they still have works after the recording but Nino, Jun and Ohno were free.

“Nino, Matsujun, let’s go grab a dinner and drink. It’s been a while since we hang out,” Ohno proposed as they changing to their own clothes. Nino turned to Jun, to see his response and Jun nodded, agreeing to Ohno’s offer.

“Okay, I’m hungry myself too,” Jun said and wore his favorite hat.

“Nino, are you coming?” Ohno asked him and Nino quickly nodded before tailing behind Ohno and Jun.

They arrived at the bar later and ordered their food and drink. Nino found himself sandwiched besides Jun and Ohno as they sat at the counter. Nino can only manage a glass of drink as he didn’t feel like drunk today. Jun finished two glasses meanwhile Ohno still didn’t feel like stopping after finishing three glasses. Nino hated it when Ohno was drunk because he will turn to be lovey dovey and flirty and the worse part of it; he will only do that to Nino.

Nino was worried about that but when he glanced at Jun, the younger man remained calm and just focusing on his drink. When Ohno finished the fourth glasses, Nino decided that’s the end of their drinking session. Jun as usual being the kindhearted man, paid for their drinks and meals. They helped carrying Ohno to the taxi stand. One taxi came a while later and they climbed up and gave Ohno’s address as his house was nearer. After dropping Ohno, Nino’s house came and Nino was glad that Jun followed him coming out from the taxi.

They climbed the stairs to Nino’s house silently but as soon as they entered Nino’s apartment, Jun pinned Nino at the nearest wall and kissed him breathlessly. Nino melted but felt slightly scared seeing this side of Jun. Jun was angry and he was a bit harsh. Although Nino loves it when Jun was a bit rough, he was scared when Jun was angry.

“J, stop,” Nino pleaded when Jun marked him on several places on his neck. Hearing Nino’s word made Jun even angrier. He carried Nino and dropped him harshly on the couch.

“You know I hate it when you flirt with Ohno yet you keep doing that Kazu,” Jun whispered in his ear and grinded their lower part together, making Nino produced a moan.

“I’m sorry Jun, I promise it will never happen again,” said Nino and he combed his fingers in Jun’s hair, trying to calm Jun.

“You keep saying that but it will happen again, I know,” Jun said and kissed Nino again, while his hand lowered Nino’s jeans and boxer to his knees.

“Jun, please,” Nino moaned when he felt Jun’s finger entered his hole.

“I wouldn’t mind so much if he isn’t your ex Kazu,” Jun said and added another finger, making Nino’s breathless.

“Jun, please, it’s over between me and Oh- chan, okay,” Nino managed to mutter and Jun retreated his fingers immediately. Nino moaned at the sudden loss.

“I hope it’s really over then,” Jun lowered himself before entering Nino completely.

“Jun!” Nino screamed at the sudden intrusion but moment later, he circled his legs around Jun, bringing their body closer. Their body moved in the familiar and heated movement. Jun’s hand circled around Nino’s hardness and several strokes later, Nino came between their stomachs. Jun thrust became faster and not so long after, he came inside Nino.

They panted heavily and Nino immediately felt the tiredness came to him. He was almost unconscious when Jun pulled out and then cleaned him before carried the now sleeping Nino to his bed. Jun took a shower and then wore his clothes that he left at Nino’s apartment from before.

Jun sat on the side of Nino’s bed and stroke Nino’s bang aside. He dropped a kiss on Nino’s forehead and then took his belonging and leave.

When Nino woke up at the middle of night and found out that Jun wasn’t there, he cried like usual, like every time Jun wasn’t there besides him.

*

Nino ran a little to their green room, afraid that he will be late than he already was. When he arrived there, all of the members already there, and his eye immediately fell at Jun who’s busy talking with his manager. Nino sighed after realizing that he managed to arrive earlier than the promise time. Sho, Aiba and Ohno greeted him. Nino sat at the free chair in front of the mirror and buried his heavy head on his arms. Then he felt his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Nino slowly grabbed his phone and flipped it open to find a mail from Jun.

‘Are you okay?’

Nino smiled and from the mirror, he could see Jun looking at his phone.

‘I’m okay J.’ Nino typed his reply.

‘Liar, you are pale than usual brat.’

‘I’m really okay princess.’

‘Baby, tell me, what’s wrong?’

Nino smiled looking at Jun’s choice of word. Jun rarely called him sweet names like that.

‘I think it just a cold.’

‘Wait, I think I got the medicine.’

Nino turned to see Jun digging in his bag. Nino smiled again and typed on his phone.

‘Thanks J.’

“Ha! Nino! Who are you mailing?” Aiba startled him and Nino panicked and immediately hides his phone.

“Baka! It’s none of your business.”

“Tell me, tell me,” Aiba kept on plastering himself on Nino when Jun came and smacked Aiba’s head.

“Ouch! Matsujun! Your ring!”

“Why are you so noisy this early morning?” Jun scolded him and Aiba tried to beg for mercy by showing his puppy eyes.

“Isn’t it his natural being Matsujun?” Sho said from behind his newspaper.

“Aww, meany Sho- chan,” Aiba pouted even more.

“And why are you bothering Nino?” Jun scolded him again and ignoring Aiba, Jun put his hand on Nino’s forehead. Nino blushed, but his already red face managed to hide that.

“What happened to Kazu- chan,” Aiba asked, puzzled by Jun’s gesture.

“Can’t you see how red his face is now? He got a cold and slight fever,” said Jun and turned to grab the water and the medicine.

“Eh? Really Nino?” Sho asked this time and left his newspaper to Nino’s side. Ohno also turned to them.

“Poor Nino- chan, let me hug you,” Aiba talked in a baby talk and hugged Nino.

“Let me go, baka!” Nino complained but Aiba just kept on hugging Nino.

“Stop bothering him Aiba,” Jun glared at Aiba and managed to make the man retreated from Nino. Sho laughed seeing Aiba’s poor face. Jun sat besides Nino and handed him the medicine and then the water, making sure that Nino really swallowed the medicine.

“Thanks Jun- kun,” Nino thanked him and somehow the medicine made him felt a little drowsy.

“Want to rest first? I can tell the director to start a little bit late,” Jun said and put his jacket around Nino, seeing as Nino only wore thin clothes.

“It’s okay, I think I will be fine,” Nino shook his head, didn’t want to interrupt the recording because of him.

“Matsujun is right, I can help Jun telling them,” Sho supported Jun but Nino refused, telling him that he already felt better. Nino stubbornness won against Jun and Sho and they started the recording later, at the promise time. Nino felt his body didn’t fully functioning but Jun was sticking to his side and helped him a lot during the recording. Never once Jun left Nino and he kept his observing eyes on Nino all the time. Jun was also extra gentle and kind and Nino wondered if he needed to be sick always to have Jun like this all the time.

After the recording, all of them were sent home by their manager, Nino was the first to get in the van as his house was the last stop. He immediately shut his eyes, trying to get some sleep while waiting for the others to get in. He was in the verge of sleeping when he felt someone sat beside him. Knowing that it was Ohno as usual, Nino ignored him. After a while, the van moved and Nino was startled when a hand gently guided his head on his shoulder. Nino opened his eyes and was met with not Ohno, but Jun’s eyes. Nino eyes widened but Jun ignored him and continued guiding Nino’s head to his shoulder. Nino glanced at the other four but they were not looking at them and Nino slowly calm himself and then gradually to felt asleep again.

Nino woke up later when he felt the van stopped moving. He checked on his surrounding and immediately recognized Ohno’s house. The van was almost empty; leaving only him and Jun. Nino wiped his face and turned to Jun.

“Jun, why are you still here?”

“Clearly, I will be going to your house.”

“Eh, why?”

“You’re sick and I need to make sure you are going to sleep and not playing game instead.”

“I will rest Jun. Don’t worry about that,” Nino tried to object but in fact his heart fluttered. He was happy that Jun still care about him.

“Are you two dating?” their manager asked as they stopped at the traffic light. Nino was startled by it but Jun remained calm.

“What are you saying Kenta- san,” Jun chuckled and Nino slowly distanced himself from Jun.

“Ah, it just I noticed you two are getting closer these days unlike before. Not to mention you are giving more fan services on the camera lately,” their manager commented and laughed.

“Nothing of the sort Kenta- san, we are close since before right. We are not dating. It will never happen anyway,” Jun answered in his calm voice. Jun’s answer throbbed inside Nino’s heart like a sharp knife. Nino felt his world spinning and his heart hurt like never before. He tried to restrain his cry and luckily, they arrived at his house.

The van stopped and Jun stepped out first, giving way to Nino. Nino grabbed his bag tightly, and walked past Jun, trying to hide his face.

“Jun, just go home,” Nino managed to say before walking to the entrance.

“Nino! Wait!” Jun shouted but Nino just continued walking, ignoring Jun. Nino managed to enter his house and as when he closed his door, he was met with Jun who’s running towards his door. Nino managed to close the door before Jun arrived.

“Kaz! What happened? Let me in!” Jun shouted from outside.

“Nothing, just go,” Nino tried to control his voice.

“Kaz, please,” Jun continued knocking. Nino grabbed his phone and sent a mail to Jun, telling him to go or he will alarm the neighbors and it will do no good. Jun continued knocking but after a while, the knocking stopped and Nino heard his steps walking away. Nino slumped on his feet at the door and cried his heart out.

*

The next day, Nino arrived late at the dressing room, giving no way to meet or talk to Jun. He felt Jun’s pierce eyes on him and managed to avoid Jun for almost the whole day. During the break he sticks to Ohno, Aiba and Sho and when Jun tried to get near him, he excused himself to the toilet.

It turned out to be a wrong decision as Jun followed him to the toilet. As soon as the toilet door closed behind them, Jun pinned him on the door and kissed him. Nino startled but then realizing this, he tried to push Jun away. After several attempts, Jun let him go. Nino went to the sink and washed his face.

“What’s wrong with you Kazu?”

“Nothing, just leave me alone.”

“Kazu,” Jun’s eyes met with Nino in the mirror and Nino tried hard to get away from it. Nino turned from the mirror and clenched his fingers, he tried to face Jun and stare straight to his eyes.

“What am I to you, Jun?”

“Eh? What?” Jun was startled by the sudden question and remained silence. Nino sighed and wiped his face before walking past Jun. Jun managed to grab his wrist.

“Let me go Jun. Let’s stop all this.”

“Stop what, Kazu?”

“Stop seeing me in private. Stop having sex with me. Stop whatever thing we have right now,” Nino said with his straight face, tired of all this already.

“What,” Jun was surprised.

“Bye Jun, thanks for everything,” Nino smiled and dropped a kiss on Jun’s lips. It might be their last kiss and Nino let the kiss last a little while longer before slowly loose his wrist and walked away from Jun. Leaving the toilet, Nino ran towards the staircase and climbed to the rooftop. As he arrived there, he let his entire remaining tear to flow. His heart clenched like it never before.

“It’s for the best,” Nino whispered, trying to assure his self.

*

Nino smashed his DS buttons harder and seconds later, the screen appeared ‘Game Over’. Nino sighed and switched off his DS. He let out a grunt and lied down on the couch. The dressing room was empty as the other four had gone to the cafeteria to grab a lunch. Nino refused when they asked before and Nino kind of sad when Jun never met his eyes and not forcing him to eat like before. Nino sighed. It was his fault after all. He was the one who ended everything he had with Jun. But he couldn’t life like that anymore. What he want was Jun and his love. Not just his body and sex. Remembering Jun’s conversation with their manager from last week, Nino knew it will never happen. Jun will never love him. After their supposed ‘break up’ in the toilet, Jun was still his usual self. He laughed, eat and work like usual. Jun will never affect by it anyway.

“You okay Nino?” a voice called and Nino opened his eyes to met with Ohno. Nino nodded and sat back on the couch, giving Ohno space to sit.

“Here,” Ohno handed him a coffee can. Nino refused at first but Ohno glared at him so Nino took it anyway. Ohno sat beside him and they just remained silence as Nino sipped on the coffee.

“Are you tired?” Ohno asked later.

“A little bit.”

“So rest,” Ohno said and guided Nino’s head to his lap.

“Oh- chan!” Nino refused and tried to sit back but Ohno was nothing but stubborn.

“Just rest,” Ohno ran his fingers on Nino’s hair. Nino sighed and closed his eyes anyway. He really felt tired these days, after all Jun’s things.

“Is Nino dating someone?”

“Eh?” Nino opened his eyes at Ohno’s question.

“Relax; I’m not trying to imply anything.”

“No, I’m not dating anyone Oh- chan.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Why are you asking anyway?”

“It just seem like you’re in love.”

“You’re kidding, Oh- chan.”

“I know you Nino- chan. I know it when you’re in love. I know the signs.”

“Oh- chan, let’s drop this topic okay. I’m not in love by the way.”

“Nino- chan is beautiful when he’s in love. His face bright and his eyes sparkle.”

“Oh- chan, please…”

“You know Nino, I’m happy if you are in love. I want you to be happy. It just I hate it when you are sad. I noticed lately that even you are in love, you sighing too much and you seem sad. I hate it when you are sad.”

“I’m really fine Oh- chan. Let’s stop this okay.”

“No, you’re not fine. I don’t want you to be sad Nino,” Ohno sincerely said and he dropped a kiss on Nino’s forehead. Nino sighed and sat up from Ohno’s lap to hug Ohno.

“Thanks Oh- chan. Thanks a lot. But I’m really okay.”

Ohno rubbed his back and Nino closed his eyes, trying to enjoy Ohno care on him.

“Let me know if there’s anything. I will try to help you Nino- chan.”

“Thanks. Oh- chan is really the best!”

“I know,” Ohno chuckled and Nino loosened the hug to smack Ohno’s head. Ohno just laughed at him and Nino find himself laughing along with the older man.

“I want you to be happy too Oh- chan,” Nino said later after they stopped laughing.

“I am happy, and I will be happier if Nino- chan is happy too.”

They smiled at each other, failed to notice a pair of eyes looking at them from behind the door.

*

Nino was in the bathroom when he heard his ringing phone. He tried to ignore it as he just only begins to take a shower but the ringing continued. Nino sighed and grabbed the towel to cover his body. He went to the bedroom and checked on the caller id. It’s Shun. Nino surprised. Shun rarely called him and only called when there was something important. Nino snapped from his little thought and answered the call.

“Nino, finally!”

“What it is Shun?”

“Come here; come here right now, Nino. Jun is, Jun.”

“Wait, calm down Shun, what happened?”

“Jun, he was in danger!”

“What? Where are you right now?”

“Bar Sunshine, come quickly!”

Nino immediately grabbed his clothes and wore it in a record time. He grabbed his phone, wallet and keys before ran to his car at the parking lot. He tried to calm himself but his mind just full of Jun. he drove to the said place by Shun and he arrived later, grateful that he managed to arrive safely despite of the speed he drove. As he entered the bar, he called Shun and then walked to the back of the bar.

“Shun, what happened? Where’s Jun?”

“Calm down, Nino, there he is,” Shun pointed at the lump on the bar.

“What happened? You said he was in danger,” Nino questioned and felt a bit worried seeing Jun looking so wasted.

“I’m sorry Nino. I lied. I just want you to see him like this.”

“What? You don’t know how worried I am, driving like a mad here? And you just want to show me the drunken Jun? Just forget it Shun!” Nino was ready to walk away when Shun grabbed his hand.

“Look, I’m sorry okay! It just I wanted you to see him like this and know that he’s really in love with you!”

“What? You’re saying nonsense Shun.”

“I’m not. He’s been like this ever since you left him. And every day I tried to tell you about his condition but he refused. He never been so drunk to this state Nino, and all he’s saying was your name. I’m sorry but I need you to know this and you two can stop being a fool.”

“He doesn’t love me Shun,” Nino tried to deny and slowly walking to Jun. As he get near the man, Jun was already asleep, his face reddened and he stinks with alcohol.

“Kazu,” Jun mumbled and Nino startled.

“I’m saying the truth Nino. I know your relationship with him. He told me all that and he was so happy before but since last week, he’s been like this, saying you were leaving him.”

“I, I don’t know what to say Shun.”

“Look, just talk to him when he’s sober okay? Just settle everything. I know you two love each other. Stop being an idiot, okay?”

Nino sat silently beside Jun. Everything was so confusing. Is Shun saying the truth? Does Jun really love him?

Shun helped him to carry Jun to his car and then Nino drove away from the bar to Jun’s house. Nino carried Jun to his house in difficulty and at the front door; he fished the keys from Jun’s pocket. He managed to dump Jun on the couch and breathe heavily.

“Kazu,” Jun mumbled again. Nino sighed and went to his bedroom to get the towel and change clothes. Nino was surprised to see his face on the frame besides Jun’s bed. It was the picture that Jun took from their early years in Arashi. There also several picture of the five of them, the picture of Jun and Nino together and the picture of Nino on the book shelf. There was also a stack of the magazine featuring Nino that was set aside from the magazine of the five of them. Jun also had a rack of DVDs of all Nino’s movies and drama. Maybe this was the reason Jun never invite Nino to his room.

Nino sighed. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. He then returned to the couch and carried Jun to his bed. Forgetting his earlier thoughts of changing Jun’s clothes, Nino left the apartment and headed home.

*

The next day, Nino eyed Jun the whole day, trying to find a hint of Jun’s condition from last night. Jun looked fine and Nino wasn’t seeing any hint that Jun loves him. Maybe Shun just trying to play with him after all. But Nino really hoped that Shun was telling him the truth. Nino had coming up with several ideas to make Jun confess or finding out whether Jun really loved him but his entire plan were ridiculous, even in his own mind.

The opportunity came when Kanjani 8 appeared as guest on Shiyagare. Nino knew how much Jun hated his friendship with Kanjani, especially Hina. Nino interacted more with Hina during and outside the recording. Even during the break, Nino chatted with Hina.

When they continued the recording, his luck became better when Maru said he loved Nino. Nino was really surprised, he never knew Maru saw him like that, but it’s an even great opportunity to make Jun jealous, although Nino wasn’t really sure if Jun will be jealous. So Nino grabbed the opportunity and even at the end of the recording, he let himself being teased by the others in the dressing room. But Jun remained in his seat and Nino wondered if what Shun said was really the truth. Nino chatted with Maru even more, making the other members of Kanjani 8 and Arashi teased him. Nino glanced at Jun and he almost smile when he saw Jun’s face slowly turned sour. Maru asked his phone numbers later and Nino saw that’s the limit for Jun as Jun stood from his seat and walked towards Nino.

Jun grabbed his wrist and brought him to his arms and kissed him fiercely in front of the others. Nino could hear the startled sounds by the others and blushed. They apart later and Jun looking at the others, muttered ‘mine’ before dragged Nino from the dressing room.

“Jun,” Nino called as Jun dragged him to the elevator.

“Don’t ever talk or I will take you right here,” Jun warned him and Nino blushed.

They rode the elevator in silence and when it stops at the rooftop, Jun dragged him again to the empty corner.

“What’s all that Kazu?”

“What?”

“Don’t try to act innocent. You’re clearly flirting there. Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“Oh, are you?”

Jun startled and turned from Nino, trying to hide his red face.

“Jun, we need to talk.”

“We are talking right now right?”

“Jun, seriously.”

“You are the one who want all this to stop.”

“It’s because it’s hurt.”

“Hurt?”

“Yes, Jun. It hurts to know that you are not in love with me when I’m in love with you.”

“You, you love me?” Jun was shock and turned to face Nino.

“Yes. Otherwise, why you think I agreed to do all that things with you?”

“You love me.”

“Yes Jun, I love you. But you don’t love me. At first I tried to be in whatever relationship we had. But you never stayed with me. After we had nights together, you will leave.”

“Kazu, it wasn’t like that. I love you!”

“Then, why?”

“It’s because I thought you are the one who will never love me,” Jun said sadly and guided Nino to sit at the bench there.

“You know Kazu, the first night we were together, when you fell asleep, you were muttering Ohno’s name.”

“Erk, really?” Nino was stunned and felt guilty in an instant when Jun nodded.

“I know, you’re not completely moving on from Ohno. I know, no matter how, you will still love him. He’s your first love after all. I will not stand a chance. I tried to stand away from you after that, but I couldn’t. I kept coming to you, I wanted you but I couldn’t stay, because you wouldn’t want me to stay. I know, I’m just a release for you and at the end of the day, you will return to Ohno. Someday you will return to Ohno. I tried hard, I really tried hard to make you look at me, to look at the man who loves you since years, but I know, it’s impossible.”

“Since when you are in love me Jun,” Nino asked in his hoarse voice.

“Ever since the junior’s day, since before Arashi. At first I thought it was just a crush, but it’s not. I still love you,” Jun smiled and wiped Nino’s teary cheeks.

“Jun, I’m the one hurting you all this years. How you managed during me dating Ohno?”

“As long as you’re happy, I will be happy Kazu, even it wasn’t me to be the reason for it,” Nino kissed Jun, kissed him with his entire feeling. He thought he was the one who hurt the most but it was him hurting Jun. He couldn’t imagine all the years Jun suffered when he was dating Ohno. He can clearly understand now the reason why Jun couldn’t stay. Jun just wanted to keep his heart from hurting.

“Jun, I’m sorry,” Nino cried seeing Jun’s gentle eyes.

“It’s all okay now, you can be free on your own, I will not trying to chain you away anymore. I’m sorry about my behavior earlier, I’m really jealous okay,” Jun pouted.

“What are you saying; I wanted to be with you. I said I love you earlier right?”

“Are you telling me the truth?”

“Yes, Jun- pon, stop worrying!”

“But, Oh- chan,” Nino smacked Jun on his head.

“It’s time for you to clear the thoughts that I’m still in love with Oh- chan. I’m over him okay. I’m sorry that I muttered his name before, but I was still in the moving phase that time. I just muttered his name only that one time right?”

“Ah, now you’re saying this, I must admit that I never heard you muttered his name anymore after that,” Jun wiped his face at the realization.

“See. You can stop thinking that I’m still in love with him okay? It’s true I had a history with Oh- chan, but you are my future J. I want to be with you, I want to grow old with you and I just want you to be the last person I see before sleep and the first person I see when I wake up. Isn’t that too hard for you to understand?”

This time Jun was the one who silence Nino with his kiss.

“So, Jun, I’m asking you again this time, who am I to you?”

“You are my everything, Kazu. Don’t you ever dare to doubt that.”

Nino’s smile was the brightest and Jun smiled too, swearing to keep that smile for the rest of his life.

“Ah, J! There’s one thing I want to ask. What do you mean when you said to our manager that we dating will never happen?”

“Oh, that. I was saying that because I mean it to be that we will never dating because you will never love me. I couldn’t ever imagine that you will love me after all.”

“Silly J. I love you okay?”

“Okay, I love you more.”

“Okay.”

“But now let’s return to the dressing room or they will be looking after us,” Jun smiled and then dragged Nino back to the elevator. In the elevator, the kiss some more and both couldn’t keep their smile away. As they approached the dressing room, Jun ran, dragging Nino behind him.

“Guys! I have a boyfriend!” Jun shouted as soon as they entered the dressing room and laughed seeing the stunned Sho, Aiba and Ohno. Luckily, Kanjani members already were leaving, as well as the staffs and managers.

“Baka Jun! It’s embarrassing!” Nino scolded him but his heart fluttered, Jun just declared he was his boyfriend after all.

“Look like they managed to settle right?” Sho said and grinned towards Ohno.

“Waaaa! This is so big! Congratulations guys! I feel like crying!” Aiba hugged Jun and Nino both and being jumpy even after they loosened the hug.

“Guys, I know it will awkward after this, but we will try to not being overly in love,” Jun tightened his hold on Nino’s hand and secretly glanced at Ohno.

“Do you really love him Jun?” Ohno asked in his serious mode.

“Oh- chan,” Nino warned but Ohno ignored him.

“Yes, I love him,” Jun said determinedly and his eyes never leaving Ohno’s eyes.

“Promise me you will never hurt him or make him cry.”

“Oh- chan, please,” Nino pleaded, uncomfortable at the awkward situation.

“I just don’t want him to make the same mistake I made Nino,” Ohno said and Jun nodded.

“I promise Oh- chan,” Jun promised him then Ohno smiled before hugging the both of them.

“Yay! Let’s go celebrate!” Aiba shouted and they were all laughing at the jumpy Aiba.

“As much as I agree with you Aiba- chan, just let our lovebird here having their moment okay? At least for today,” Sho said and chuckled when Aiba pouted.

“Thanks Sho- chan, I love you!” Nino jumped and kissed Sho on the cheek. Jun widened his eyes and playfully tugged at his heart.

“My boyfriend is flirting!” Jun playfully said and Nino laughed happily before turned to kiss Jun on the lips instead.

“My eyes!” Sho shouted dramatically meanwhile Aiba and Ohno cheered, playfully trying to snap a picture.

They ended going to celebrate after all and after the celebration, Jun followed Nino to his house, made love to him and when Nino woke up the morning after, he was greeted with Jun’s smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending is weird, i'm bad at ending a story. And to anyone who read Before I Met You, the update will be late, I'm sorry! I'm busy these days, and when i tried to write, this oneshot come out instead. Really sorry!


End file.
